Sasuke's Triumphant Return
by Piscine
Summary: Sasuke crack fic. Not for Sasuke fans. Sasuke returns to Konoha after killing the man he swore to kill all those years ago.


I remove my bloodied hand from the now limp corpse of my older brother Itachi and release the now level 5 seal that has covered my body. Itachi is not much to look at anymore his head which was attacked by my chidori has been completely vaporized. I have gone through a lot these past 6 years since I left Konoha. I went to Orochimaru and he gave me the power I needed to realize my ambition. Orochimaru said I should come back to his hideout after I was done killing Itachi to give me a gift, but I'll pass I don't usually like the gifts he gives me, if it was a jutsu I would consider it, but it probably isn't.

Now it is time for me to go back home and rebuild my clan and I can't think of a better person to do it with than Sakura. I bet she will still fawn all over me. Maybe I even love her, what I do know for sure she is the only girl I've cared about and I know she loves me, and there is no one she will love more than me. I'll also be considered a hero for taking down one of Konoha's top S-class criminals. They'll probably make me a jounin right away and ask me to join either the ANBU or the hunter-nins. Heh, it'd be pretty funny if they asked me to take down Orochimaru, I might even be able to get the jump on him, if he thinks I'm returning to see him, I did find Itachi and killed him much earlier than I expected.

Alright it's about a 3 day travel to Konoha, I guess I should get cleaned up and head on over.

"You wanted to see me Oba-chan?" Naruto asked as he and Sakura entered Tsunade's office.

Tsunade's brow twitched at being called an old lady, but chose to ignore it since she had really big news. "According to our scouts, Sasuke was seen in the northern part of the country headed in this direction. He was by himself and was going at a leisurely pace, so it doesn't seem like he is coming to attack the village. It is quite possible he defeated Itachi and is returning to the village. If Sasuke continues at the pace he was at he should be here in about one day. Now we already talked about what would happen if Sasuke decided to return to the village on his own. Are you both still alright with that?"

Naruto and Sakura both turned to look at each other, they each nodded, excited to see their old teammate again.

"Well I'm glad we got that out of the way. Naruto, I was talking to Kakashi and he said that you wanted to take care of things for Sasuke's welcome home party."

"Hai, Sakura and Kakashi are willing to help with the preparations can I count on you and Shizuneas well?"

"Of course, I'd be hurt if you kept me out of it. Alright like I said he should get back tomorrow, we'll have it here, be ready so we can surprise him."

Wow it's great to be home again, I'm almost at the gate, I hope they don't give me a hard time. As I approach I see the guard at the gate notice me and stand up. Once I walk up to him he asks, "What can I do for you?" I'm surprised he doesn't know who I am, he must be fairly new. I smile and respond slightly boastfully, "I am Uchiha Sasuke returning to the village after killing the S-class criminal Uchiha Itachi."

The guard seems unimpressed and looks at his sheet, "Right, Uchiha Sasuke, it says here that you are to report to the Hokage's office when you return."

I walked passed the guard indignantly, I don't like the attitude he gave me, how could he not be impressed with someone like me? I'll talk to the Hokage and get him fired.

Wait I was on the list the guard had, hmmm, they already knew I was coming. Konoha has better eyes and ears than I thought. Maybe they are throwing me a surprise welcome home party. It takes a lot to keep me unaware of what's happening, though I'll try to pretend to be surprised. After all, I don't want to disappoint everyone after they haven't seen me in so long.

I'll bet the dobe will be impressed with how strong I've gotten, maybe he'll even start a fan club for me. Sakura, I bet she has been waiting longingly for this day, hope she is as pretty as when I left. She probably had to turn down a lot of guys to save herself for me, but I have no doubt that she didn't mind doing that for me. I'll make it all up to her for having to wait so long for me.

As I approach the office of the Hokage I couldn't help but be excited at seeing everyone. Now I must remember to act surprised, though dobe probably messed it up and they wasted the good surprise on him. Oh well, I guess I'll forgive him. I walk into the building and up to the desk outside the office, a woman, I think her name is Shizune, though one can't really be bothered with the underlings, is sitting there and she looks up at me and says, "Right this way." She gets up and leads me into the office, opening the door and waiting for me to walk through. I thank her by saying, "It's good to see some respect for all that I've done for this village."

As I walk in I see the Hokage standing in front of her desk and Kakashi, Sakura, and the dobe standing around as well, that woman Shizune walks in behind me and shuts the door. The air in the room feels kind of strange, maybe it's just stuffy. Isn't this where everyone is supposed to yell surprise? I guess the dobe wasted the good surprise on him. The Hokage looks ready to speak I better pay attention to all the praise I'm about to get.

"Uchiha Sasuke, you are placed under arrest from my authority under the charges of treason to Konohagakure."

She must be joking, the already knew I figured out the surprise party so they are trying to get back at me. I smile and laugh, "Ha, ha very funny."

Kakashi looked at me and stated, "Sasuke this isn't a laughing matter, I assure you these charges are real."

Maybe they haven't realized what I have accomplished yet, "But I killed Itachi he was an S-class criminal."

Naruto who looked like he was trying to hold it all in finally opened his mouth, "So? You think just because a B-class criminal kills an S-class criminal all will be forgiven?"

"Wait I'm a what? B-class!" I'm so shocked by what Naruto just said that I forgot everything else that was going on.

"That's right it's ranked by strength and we have you listed two ranks below Itachi," Naruto taunted back finding great satisfaction in it.

I smile and retort, "Well clearly you guys are wrong I killed him, so I must be stronger."

Naruto smirks, "If you really did kill him. Regardless, you are under charges of treason for: 1. leaving the village and following your own ambitions, a shinobi is to act as a tool for is village, 2. allying yourself with the enemy, and lastly 3. For attacking and attempting to kill a shinobi from the same village outside of a village sanctioned event."

I see what's going on now, "So that's what this is all about, you are still pissed that you lost to me and that I'm better than you. Well for your information I'm not going to stay around for you to arrest me over something so petty."

"Are you going to fight your way out?" Naruto asks clearly skeptical.

"That's right," I respond as I start pumping charka into my curse seal. Hmmm, the seal is taking longer to activate… something is definitely wrong it won't activate.

"Is something wrong?" Naruto asks, waits a moment for a response but then continues, "Let me explain something to you since you walked into this room you are under the power of the Gogyo Juin Hoin(Five Elements Cursed Seal Sealing Method)."

I look back at Kakashi, how could he have done this to me? Knowing what I was thinking he responded, "Sorry Sasuke but I agree with everything a ninja who doesn't reach his goals may be considered trash but a ninja who throws away his teammates and his village is much worse than trash. As for the seal, don't look at me, it was Naruto who thought it and made it, he has become quite accomplished at seals since you've been gone.

I'm in trouble and I could use some help, I look to Sakura, of course Sakura, she was probably forced into this. "Sakura help me please."

She simply stated, "No."

What she said no? This doesn't make any sense, maybe I need to remind her, "But you love me."

She rolls her eyes at what I just said and responded, "That was merely a childhood crush, I love Naruto."

Wait she loves who? Naruto! "You love that dobe?"

Sakura get's clearly agitated and yells back, "Don't call him that, he is a better ninja than you'll ever be and one day he'll be Hokage." She then looks over to Naruto and smiles.

Realizing I had to get out of here I asked, "Wait you said once I stepped into this room I was under the seal."

"That's right if you get out of this room you can use your precious curse seal."

I scan the room, the door is being covered by both Kakashi and Shizune. The windows at the back of the office is being covered by Sakura on the left, the Hokage in the middle, and Naruto at the right. Weighing my options, the door is cancelled out with two on one with one of the two being Kakashi, it would make it too tough of a fight. The right is gone as well with the Kyuubi, it would be tough to end it quickly. The middle would probably be tough, she is a woman, but she is Hokage for a reason. The left would probably be my best option with Sakura probably being the weakest one here.

I fake to the right at Naruto for a second and then take off towards the windows behind Sakura. She will probably try to stop me, but she shouldn't stand a chance and I should be able to burst through the window pretty quickly. All is going according to plan no one has a chance to catch up and all is left is Sakura. Suddenly she moves, this should be pretty easy, next thing I feel like I'm getting hit by a semi truck and I fly across the room hitting the wall and falling to the ground.

Oh wow, I can't even move, when did Sakura get so strong? I am lying on my back with my head to the side. I see Sakura's feet walk up to me and she says clearly over the ringing in my ears, "You thought I was the weakest one here, but what you didn't realize is that the weakest one was you."

I see Naruto walk up next to her, "You've depended on the curse seal for too long and that has made you weak. Honey, let's go and leave this pathetic mess for the ANBU to take him to prison. Oh and by the way, not sure if you were aware, but Orochimaru was only using you to take over your body. The only reason he hasn't done it yet is that he was afraid that if he did, Itachi would move against him before he got a chance to get used to the Sharingan. He was waiting for you to kill Itachi and then take over your body." With that both of them walked away without looking back.


End file.
